Thursday

Threeway relationships are the bestest!

Creating the threeway Cuckold relationship

An enjoyable cuckolding environment is one where everyone involved receives what they need from the relationship. For a cuckold couple with a steady bull or lover, this means practicing cuckolding together as a group.

Mostly, this post focuses on those wives who are just starting to experience men outside your marriage with your husband’s encouragement.

In my view, cuckolding is most effective and enjoyable when practiced as a threesome and with all being present sometimes. Wives who primarily meet their boyfriend away from home are missing out on some of the best experiences and benefits in cuckolding.

Some couples new to the sharing lifestyle are initially intimidated by the idea of a semi-steady relationship with a man outside the marriage. Emotionally it’s viewed as very risky, but honestly, if it’s a true risk, a couple shouldn’t even be thinking about doing this.

The reality is that a steady guy or a few reliable companions for the wife is not only less risky in terms of physical and health safety, but is much more rewarding in terms of an overall, fulfilling experience. This regular contact will probably lead to deeper friendships and even some level of emotional connection between the wife and her lover(s). Don’t fear this intimacy - it’s healthy, expected and adds tremendously to the experience for everyone involved.

What if the boyfriend isn’t experienced with cuckold couples?

Even if the boyfriend is aware of the husband’s acquiescence to the wife’s extramarital relationship, many couples simply don’t know how to broach the topic of including the husband more directly. Most guys get skittish about this because they’re worried the husband wants inclusion sexually i.e. a threesome or they are nervous about being watched by the husband. Simply knowing what their concerns are is half the battle, so it’s important to get to the bottom of any objections they might raise.

It’s often up to the wife to initiate this threeway bonding. To do this she needs to create situations for both men to meet and interact. Perhaps instead of meeting her lover out, she should propose having him pick her up at home, so he can be introduced to the husband.

Ladies, invite your lover in for a few minutes before you leave on your date. Let him know beforehand this is what you want. Show excitement and let him know how much the situation turns you on. Kiss him openly in front of your husband. This may all seem puzzling at first, but both men will certainly identify with something that turns you on. This way the boyfriend can also see for himself that your husband has accepted a secondary role and is a willing participant in the relationship.

While out on dates and when talking with your lovers later, you should make a point of discussing your husband and his reactions to your dating; detail how excited your husband gets watching you prepare for your date, for example, or explain how your shared fantasies have led you to this point. The more you discuss the details of this lifestyle with your lovers the more information he’ll have to work with.

Enjoying your boyfriend at home…

Another suggestion is to invite your lover over for dinner at your place before you go out. This can give everyone an hour or more to openly talk and even discuss the lifestyle. The more time the three of you are together the more everyone will become comfortable within their roles.

It’s important that you be openly flirtatious, possibly even intimate, with your lover while your husband is present. Use these times to establish which man is your priority. Perhaps give your husband small tasks to perform while you entertain your lover, such as getting drinks or tell him to hang up your boyfriend’s jacket . This demonstrates that you are the one in control when your boyfriend is present. When he returns, he should find you on your boyfriend’s lap or snuggled up to him on the couch, your hands playfully stroking the bulge of your boyfriend’s cock.

You may even need to be a bit aggressive with an inexperienced guy, even an otherwise dominant one, until he becomes comfortable with the situation and gets his head around the idea of you spurning your husband for him. Do not be bashful during this important phase. I know this can be a challenge for many wives unfamiliar with being the aggressor, but simply think of it as a game and force yourself until it becomes a bit more natural. Once your boyfriend warms up to it all you will no longer be playing that role!

When you’re on dates, think about calling your husband. Encourage your boyfriend to listen as you tease your husband with a description of what’s going on. Perhaps you’re in a restaurant and you tease your husband with the knowledge that your boyfriend’s hand is on your bare thigh, under your skirt, just a couple inches from where he can’t be tonight. Or call your husband from your boyfriend’s place - just imagine what you could tell him.

This all lets your boyfriend come to better understand the dynamics of cuckolding, and also lets him directly see and feel how it turns you on to do it.

As you move further into the relationship, encourage contact between both of your men. Before a date, have your husband call your boyfriend and ask him what outfit he’d like you to wear. Give your husband several options to mention - either whole outfits or even simply ask if he wants you to wear a skirt or a dress. This interaction can prove exciting to all three of you (and it’s fun!).

Eventually, picking you up at home and having dinner with you at home will then lead to making out at home and going to bed without ever leaving the house. Dating out is still recommended, but sometimes you want to go out…and sometimes you just want to stay in. Do it both ways with you lover, in the presence of your husband.

Having sex in front of your husband can be one of the biggest turning points in your relationship with your lover, and in your life if you’ve never done it before. Some couples approach this gradually. At first the husband may just observe the foreplay and fondling, before the wife and lover dismiss the husband, or adjourn to the privacy of a bedroom. In future visits the husband may be directed to help remove bits of the wife’s clothing, or simply watch as she disrobes for her lover.

Graduating to full on sex in front of the husband can be exciting for you the wife, but it can also be intimidating for your boyfriend. One way to overcome this intimidation is to make it clear to your boyfriend is your primary focus and your husband is only an observer. You will have already told your boyfriend that your husband isn’t allowed in the bedroom when he’s there except for those times when you call for him. Combined with previous events leading up to this point, and your bolstering his confidence, your boyfriend should begin to feel much less anxious taking you in your bed with your husband watching.

At this point, you begin to include your husband more by extending the foreplay outside the bedroom; getting naked for your boyfriend sooner, taking foreplay well beyond petting, even engaging in sex in the den, living room, etc., all while your cuckold husband is present.

Once this threshold is passed, your boyfriend will become comfortable in his position and should begin to enjoy asserting himself with you and your husband, and will be the one to call your husband into the bedroom to witness him entering you. This is particularly true if your boyfriend knows that your husband’s access to you sexually has been limited in preference to him, which some couples enjoy.

Good luck and happy loving!

Wednesday

A different kind of blind date

We've all been on blind dates. Do they ever turn out well, by the way?

I'm going to tell you about a different kind of blind date. This one definitely is more predictable and usually a lot more fun than the kind of blind date we all know and hate!


If you're a woman and you read this blog regularly, then it's safe to say you fuck around like me (or you think about it).

I enjoy having lovers in my life, in my bed, on the side, whatever. But it's not always possible to be with someone. I'm not always dating someone. They're not always available. Sometimes life just gets in the way. When that happens I don't stop having great sex. I just have to be more creative, and that usually involves my husband (contrary to some of my blogs I still love fucking him!).

Years ago we tried something that we still do, usually when I can't find the time (or the right guy) for the real thing. We call it a "Blind Date". It's really a sensory deprivation experience masquerading as a sex act, but don't rule it out. It's hotter than you might think and (to me) a satisfying way to get along until my next real date.

I love to fantasize. I do it more than most women, and probably more than some men. I didn't always fantasize. But once I began to do it I found I liked it. The more I liked it the more I did it. Soon it began to help my sex life and partly because of fantasies I ended up in this lifestyle and fucking other men.

When I can't see others, I fantasize more often. Here's one way to take your fantasies to a new level. Fantasies are in our minds (obviously). But they often get clouded with input from everyday life. I found that if you can block out your everyday life then your mind can better focus on your fantasy.

How? Think blindfolds and earplugs! Sight and sounds are our largest senses. Take them away and you won't have as much distraction. You can think more clearly and you can fantasize better.

Here are the basics for a Blind Date:

1. The wife is blindfolded where she cannot see anything, even out of the sides. Cotton pads on my eyes work best, held in place by a blindfold and maybe a scarf on top of that too, to keep anything from slipping off. NO peeking. That ruins everything instantly!

2. Ear plugs! Use good earplugs. CVS sells a good quality, soft, moldable wax earplug. Sensory deprivation is important to allow the woman to focus ONLY on her fantasies. She shouldn't be able to hear anyone or anything at all. Any sound intrudes into her fantasy.

3. The husband leaves the bedroom. The wife is on the bed naked, or wearing a negligee she would want to wear for a lover. She begins to pleasure herself to get things going. It's important that she pushes ALL thoughts of her husband OUT of her mind, and allows herself to think ONLY of her fantasy lover. She is NOT even married in her mind. ALL of her thoughts are as if she was with that lover at that moment. (It takes some mental discipline)

4. The husband stays out of the room for a sufficient time for the wife to get aroused and be totally into her fantasy. 20-30 minutes is usually right for me. But this is QUALITY alone time for the wife. It’s all about her and her thoughts. She needs to be in her own world and absorbed in her fantasy completely by the time the husband comes back in.

5. Position is critical. The wife must be COMFORTABLE and ACCESSIBLE. The husband MUST be able to have access to her sex and be able to enter her with a minimum of effort and a minimum of “signaling” (soft mattresses signal movement, firmer surfaces do not). For some, laying back naked and spread legged on the edge of the bed works. Doggy on the edge of the bed or chair (or even on the floor) works well for others. Regardless of position, the wife should be spread wide, very wet, and very aroused. In her mind she should have been through the foreplay part of lovemaking with her fantasy lover, and ready for "him" to fuck her (enter the husband as surrogate). Have extra lube on hand to insure that initial penetration is very pleasurable.

6. NO talking by the husband! He must do NOTHING that would interrupt the wife’s fantasizing about someone else. This is about the WIFE. SHE is the ONLY one who talks. However, she only “talks” to her fantasy lover, calling out HIS name, etc. For the Blind Date to work the best, she must FORGET her husband and BELIEVE that her fantasy lover is present. Scream out his name. Beg him to fuck you. Whatever you would really say and do with him.

7. When the wife is ready (after 20-30 minutes) the husband comes in SILENTLY and enjoys the sight of his wife masturbating and aroused by thoughts of another man. Since the wife cannot see or hear she has no idea she is no longer alone. Minimal foreplay is called for. NO kissing (it’s a giveaway). The husband should play with her just a little. Groping her breasts, clit massage, pussy fingering works well, just not a lot of touching places that don't need touching, and not too much of it. After all the wife knows the husbands touch, and that can ruin the fantasy.

8. Intercourse – The wife should be TOTALLY into her fantasy lover by now. NO thought of her husband should be in her mind at all. When he enters her, she should 100% imagine it is her lover, even telling “him” to fuck her, and calling out “his” name when she orgasms. Women – Give feedback. Respond to your “lover” as you would in person with him. Doing so WILL make it more real for you. If done right it can almost be so realistic it will seem UNREAL! Don’t be afraid to let loose and say whatever dirty things come to mind. Also do not be afraid to stimulate yourself to orgasm if need be, to keep the fantasy going in your head. If you need to finger your clit or squeeze your breast, do so. Be uninhibited. After all, you’re having sex with a lover NOT your husband. For the husband, knowing your wife is actually fantasizing about another man while you do her can be VERY HOT! Enjoy seeing her as she would be with “him”.

9. Afterwards - no questions and NO talking! Ladies – let him see you “spent” on the bed, as you would be after being fucked by another man. Or consider masturbating to one last orgasm, thinking of a second fuck by your lover (trust me your husband will not be able to leave until you finish). Husbands – It’s simple: just finish and leave! Go to another room and dress. Your wife will dress and follow later. That way she doesn't remove her blindfold and see you, which would destroy the illusion that she just had sex someone else.

10. For some women the hardest part is getting comfortable with the idea of a fantasy of another man having sex with her. This is a learned thing, but very enjoyable once they are able to get into it. Practice makes perfect. The first time may seem odd. TRY it again and it will be better. After a few times you will begin to enjoy it.

Tip – If you can’t already tell, the Blind Date is ALL ABOUT THE WIFE! It’s her fantasy scene, and her imaginary (or past/future) lover. What she wears, the position she chooses to be “taken” in, etc. must all match the fantasy she is imagining at that moment. She is in control of her fantasy. The husband is there just to “fill in” for the fantasy lover during intercourse.

Typical scene – The husband goes to the living room, and starts the countdown for a predetermined time (20-30 min). The wife goes the bedroom, puts on a sheer nightie (or gets nude), puts in her earplugs and blindfolds herself.

Then she lies back on the bed and begins to push away all thoughts of her husband. She imagines herself with her fantasy lover. She massages her breasts as he would, tugging at her nipples, rubbing her body as her lover would. As she warms up she moves her hands lower, along her stomach, rubbing her legs and her thighs, using the complete darkness and silence to block out any thoughts other than the man she most wants to be with. Her fingers find her slit and she begins to stroke herself as she imagines (and wishes!) her lover would do. She may reach an orgasm like this, or not, depending on what she prefers. As the time for fucking gets closer she should assume whichever position she fantasizes being in when her “lover” enters her (missionary, doggy on edge of bed, etc.). She should continue to masturbate and stimulate herself while she waits.

After the agreed time the husband silently comes in the room. The wife has no idea he is there. He may even watch her for a minute. Then he touches her a little (not too much). Rubbing her breasts, fingering her, etc. She will have no idea he is there until she's touched. The wife instantly assimilates his touch into her fantasy. In her mind it MUST BE her fantasy lover who is touching her. The husband takes just enough time to help her complete the “foreplay” part of her fantasy, and then advances the fantasy by entering her and completing the act, while the wife imagines it is her fantasy lover inside her. The wife may want to call out her lover’s name, or tell him what she wants. Doing this cements the illusion in the woman’s mind and helps her “believe” that her fantasy is reality.

After intercourse, the husband withdraws and leaves immediately. There is no talking or further intimacy. The wife might lay there and enjoy the afterglow as she comes down from the erotic high. When she removes her blindfold and earplugs she is completely alone, and the fantasy of being with another man is intact. She then gets dressed and rejoins her husband.

At that point some couples prefer to act as if nothing happened. I
f so, then it’s important that they ignore what just happened. No discussion and no questions at that time (later is fine). Doing so immediately will detract from the appeal of the fantasy. Others like to take this opportunity to move into another phase of fantasy, where the wife has just returned to her husband after the illusion of having a sexual tryst with another man, leading to additional sexual fantasies. It's whatever works for you.

Try it. If you don't like it, try it again. If after three times you don't like it, then you're probably reading the wrong blog.

Compersion = the only real solution for jealousy


This is a repost of something my husband got from a friend who is therapist. He believed this has helped him understand his feelings better and deal with any bouts of jealousy that he feels when I am with someone else.

I'm posting it because he suggested it. Maybe this can help others.



Compersion: The Only Way Out is To Dive In


One of the things pilots learn about flying is that many of the principals associated with flying go contrary to what would be common sense on four wheels. On wings, it's safer to be high rather than close to the ground, and it’s safer to go fast than to go slow. Certain things that you must do as a pilot will violate every instinct in your body -- such as when your airplane stalls, you need to point it directly at the ground to pick up speed and resume flying.

When we find ourselves in an "in love" situation, you could say that we trade in our wheels for wings. This new environment requires that we adapt to new logic. It is not always easy to keep an intimate relationship aloft, and one of the most disturbing things that can threaten staying aloft is the feeling of jealousy.

Compersion is about embracing and enjoying the fact that someone we love can find sexual pleasure, or even have feelings, with someone else. Becoming comfortable with compersion is akin to pointing the nose of an airplane down when you go into a stall created by jealousy. It takes courage to do this in any event, but it can often be the best way, if not the only way, to keep from crashing and preserve one’s sanity and the relationship.

Looked at another way, compersion is the full appreciation of another person's pleasure and indeed their existence -- something many relationships could use a lot more of. If we could indeed get there, this would be an excellent resolution for jealousy and other problems. Our relationships would be more interesting, more compassionate and best of all, make room for who we really are while allowing our partner to be whom they really are.

More than being a protective measure, compersion is a daring and courageous way to explore the emotional dynamics of pleasure and human interaction, as well as a way to work through problems created by attachment and guilt. It's a way to take a constructive approach to shame, embarrassment, or a sense of potential loss. For people who are considering opening up to their relationship to other partners, compersion makes the process safe and sane, and ultimately enhances the relationship.

It does not happen at once. Compersion takes practice and dedication, though like many things there are breakthroughs along the way; quantum leaps that take us from one dimension of feeling and self-awareness to another. It helps to think of compersion as a process rather than an emotion. It is a way of living, of perceiving the world, and of conceiving of who you and your partner are. It is a way of loving and respecting people as independent from you, something that's extremely challenging in a culture that extols the virtues of selfishness, possessiveness, control, and narcissism. Compersion is a way of creating closeness where there might instinctively be division.


Our Environment of Competition and Abandonment

While we're considering the subject of relationships, and jealousy in particular, we need to remember that in our society, the ideas we are given about love are competitive. Only one person is going to "get" you; for any individual, the chances are six billion to one. There seems to be not enough of anything for all of us, so we have to compete; we have to be Number One.

Most of our ideas about life and love are based on scarcity and possession. Even on a planet where you have billions of people without partners, many of them can't find a date on a Friday night. Have you ever considered how twisted that is? Such as when you're home alone and horny and want some company, and you realize there must be millions of people in this same condition? On a planet with so many people, you would think there would be nothing easier to find than other people. On a planet where so many people want sex, you would think there would be plenty of it. Yet even in this state of total abundance, we manage to turn it around and live in the midst of a horrid shortage. (No matter what people may have, or need, unless they're willing to give and receive -- generally in that order -- there is no interaction or exchange possible. That is part of the problem.)

In the desert of life, we tend to fear two things. What we fear most is abandonment. Even if that one special person has found us, or vice versa, the big fear is that we will lose them; that they will find someone else. Often, even when we find love, we live with a sense of incredible frailty, sensitivity and imminent doom. This is usually based on the fear of not being good enough; indeed, at times on a total absence of self-esteem. Loss of self-esteem can lead to jealousy in short order.

The second thing we fear is being too close to others, and having our true selves and secrets exposed. A great many people don't like who they are inside, and are terrified about the prospect of exposing this to others. Many people survive by making up a fake character, and if someone gets close to us, we may fear that they'll figure out we're empty and thus undeserving of love.

So, our relationships and desire to relate to one another are based on need created by being alone, and the rules are set by the fear of abandonment and the fear of uber-intimacy. This is different than it might be, were we surrounded and taught a philosophy of sharing, emotional abundance and self-acceptance.

An Alternative Theory of Jealousy

Before I offer a more detailed description and brief history of the idea of compersion, let's first visit an alternative theory of jealousy.

Some feel that jealousy is about potential loss, or the desire to be preferred, or a sense of competition because we all want the best, or it is a kind of extreme envy, where you want what someone else has. These are superficial issues that conceal the true spiritual matter beneath jealousy -- and if we stay on the surface, we miss the benefit we can get from encountering the deeper levels directly. Jealousy will haunt us and never become a teacher or ally. It can only be faced down and dealt with in order to overcome it.

Jealousy is actually the eruption of attachment, usually when a relationship is threatened by an outsider. The threat is a problem because of how closely we identify with our relationships as a major source of self-worth.

We often cling to one another due to the inherently transient nature of relationships, and sometimes out of material survival. Obsessive clinging is a struggle with a deeper issue -- we live in a constantly shifting, often hostile, world, where we often seem to have no solid ground to stand on. We struggle with trust, and the uncertainty of future. Jealousy evokes some or all of these conditions, manifesting itself as something that feels as ominous as the hand of death.

However, there is another factor involved – the ironic association of pleasure. Imagine a situation where you suspect (fear) your partner is having a sexual experience with someone else. The jolt of panic or intense anxiety that comes with this perception has a unique side affect. Even though we might feel panic, fear and even anger toward our partner, there is also passion involved. Beneath those painful feelings there is an undercurrent of erotic energy – invoking a sense of passion, which is a form of pleasure.

If one can push aside the initial fear and feelings of jealousy they are often surprised to discover a sense of arousal. Human psychology offers many theories for this, including sexual competition, etc. Regardless, it’s important to recognize the existence of arousal, and to be able to use it dislodge and replace the destructive feelings of jealousy and fear.

Indeed, this can be a smart survival technique. Rather than fighting the pain, focusing on conflict and endangering the relationship one should instead embrace the more pleasurable sense of arousal. In other words, the only way out is to dive in headfirst.

I can say that I’ve been able to do this with my own marriage. Upon a realization that she had likely been with another I dove straight into the feelings. Rather than focusing on the pain and negative feelings, I recognized how erotic it felt to imagine her being sexual.

I let those visions play out, over and over until I had made friends with them. At first my jealousy continued to circle. But in the ever-creeping flames of jealousy, my pain seemed to gradually burn up. Soon I found it much easier and pleasurable to focus on the arousal aspect. As a result I found myself accepting her needs, and the love I felt for her grew stronger. In truth, I was becoming a different more mature and more accepting person.

Later in our relationship she met another woman, and the two of them started a sexual relationship that eventually involved feelings that bordered on love. Their sex was passionate, beautiful, and incredible to behold -- and many times, it excluded me. I had choices: I could freak out, panic and feel abandoned, or I could expand my awareness and embrace what they shared.

At first I lived with the dual feelings; the pain of being excluded, and the exquisite enjoyment from being a participant and witness to the pleasure they shared together. Through this process I learned of compersion.

Once many people get over the initial shock of their partner being with another, if they would they search their true feelings they would likely find the idea of their partner having sex to be erotic. But it's definitely a form of pleasure that contradicts everything we're taught about relationships, and especially marriage. So many people do not give any consideration to the possibility of pleasure. They immediately turn to jealousy, giving it free reign to spread all of its destructiveness.

To overcome this, and turn to the pleasure side, it’s critical to recognize that complete acceptance, and indeed SURRENDER, is the first step. In truth, you cannot do anything about how other people feel or what they want. We cannot control others, even our own spouses. We can futilely try to gain control over others and the situation, or we can let go and surrender to the situation controlled by another. Letting go is intensely frightening. Yet it can ultimately lead to equally intense pleasure. For as much as we cling and struggle to control everyone and everything around us, what we need the most is to let go.

Like flying, we must do something that seems counterintuitive. In the middle of the fear, pain and sense of possible loss associated jealous feelings, the act of “Letting Go” feels much like pointing the nose of an airplane directly at the ground -- it violates common sense, and goes contrary to what we feel we should to do. After all, society tells us that there is no way you're supposed to be turned on by your spouse having sex with someone else, or aroused by the knowledge that they're wrapped in someone else's arms. Others would consider it masochistic. It's not socially acceptable. If you described such feelings to anyone else they might think you had lost your mind.

However, you may have actually found your mind. The point is simple: to be free you must let go and be accepting. Remember, that's not socially acceptable. Human beings often come to love the bonds that chain them; the rooms that imprison them. Some even love the drama of jealousy, its intensity, its pain. But they do so without going underneath to see what's there and why they feel the way the do.

Attachment provides a sense of belonging. There are people who don't feel loved unless their partner gets jealous. There are people who don't feel loved unless their partner experiences guilt for having any pleasure that doesn't involve them. The logic of monogamous guilt is, "He will be mad at me if I do something that feels good and I don't feel guilty." After a while this becomes a serious block to real love. Control, which is often exercised through guilt, is a direct obstacle to the space that love needs to be itself. Compersion undoes that. It allows what exists to be itself, without the control society demands that we place on one another in a marriage.

Compersion: The Word and the Concept

THE WORD, and more importantly the idea of, compersion was first introduced in the polygamous community. Among the many discoveries made in this community was that there were times when it was profoundly erotic to experience your partner loving or sharing pleasure with someone else. They believed it was important to have a word for this emotion, so people could talk about it more easily and even realize it was possible to feel this way. They called it compersion.

Compersion is much like compassion, but the origin, the core of the idea, is specifically sexual. You could say it's about recognizing what someone feels and embracing that. But I think that (like jealousy) it is closer to the existential level and can be a constructive intellectual building block for personal growth. Per means one or individual, so compersion is embracing the whole person and their experiences. This is supposed to be what love is about. Unfortunately, once guilt and jealousy get into the picture, who a person is as an individual ends up being eclipsed by who we want them to be or force them to be, through many forms of control.

If you follow the compersion experience, you will notice that it leads to a complete reversal of how we are supposed to experience life; it goes contrary to many of societies values of possession, control and monogamous commitment that characterize our relationships, especially marriage.

Compersion requires the complete acknowledgement AND acceptance of who your partner really is, in their entirety, and separate and apart from you. It entails all they may feel, desire, need, experience; their fears and repulsions and conflicts are all included. It’s holistic awareness of their individuality.

Many traditional relationships have nothing to do with this elusive concept of who a person really is. Even in more enlightened relationships, some can do this in certain aspects of life, except for sexual. Embracing and allowing a spouse complete freedom in the full spectrum of their erotic reality presents a specific challenge, because it has the real potential to relegate us to an empty place where we are no longer needed.

Embracing your partner and all their needs and giving them the freedom to express those needs, while acknowledging the risk of losing them, is necessary to let go. It is also entirely necessary in order to find a sense of fulfillment of real and true love. To do this we must acknowledge that the relationship can cease to exist, and be comfortable with the idea of being alone with only oneself. One must find themselves in that potentially empty space, and deal with the thought of being alone. Doing so can help one find a sense of self-awareness and personal confidence that they can not only survive but also thrive in such a temporary vacuum. Indeed it can make one better appreciate the relationship itself.

To offer another person your compersion is to offer them and yourself the autonomy necessary for each of us to be ourselves and for love to be itself. It is the living expression that only truth is erotic.

Why Bother?

We might wonder, why bother with all of this? Why not just have a typical monogamous relationship? Well, that works in theory. When we look closer at a human psyche, we discover that people are more complex than they are monogamous. Monogamy is constructed to suit societal goals, largely perpetuated by denying en masse what we really feel and need as human beings. We are taught to live within these structured arrangements, and to preserve the sanctity of the relationship above self, foregoing needs of the individual. Even in the most honest relationships most couples tend to avoid or deny anything or any situation that could potentially threaten the relationship. This often ends up creating personal, and sometimes sexual, frustrations that manifest themselves in destructive ways.

For example everyone, including married people, have erotic fantasies when they masturbate. Those fantasies often include people other than their spouse. Usually the way we deal with this is to ignore it. We retire to a private space within ourselves and hide part of ourselves there, away from our partner. We presume our partner will feel threatened, not understand, or criticize what we're thinking.

Yet, as it works out, that "private" space is usually the exact space that we need to share with our partners in order to have any sense of deep, true intellectual intimacy in a relationship. Within that region there are sure to be things that might be perceived to "threaten" the relationship; however, these are the very things that we need most to share. This is an example where compersion is a useful skill – allowing and encouraging a person to be who they truly are.

Few people love just one person. Many times, monogamous people have strong erotic feelings for others -- feelings they may feel guilty about. Opposite sex friends can be viewed as potential threats. After all, such friendships risk an emotional connection, and the relationship might turn sexual. So each partner may feel or convey some sense of guilt upon the other partner, short circuiting any possible connection. But doing so denies one or both partners from a potentially rewarding relationship. The guilt becomes the means by which people control one another. Compersion is the solution to such a situation, and end such toxic methods of controlling one another.

Once you learn to enjoy compersion as a base emotion and not just a concept, life gets much easier and fulfilling. You can give yourself more space to feel, give your partner more freedom and space to explore themselves and others, and their happiness will spill over into your life. You can learn to find happiness through the happiness of another. Love is truly deeper once you remove the competition and guilt.

Without jealousy and guilt, whatever you feel is okay.

After a while, what you need will become okay.

Then, what you do will be okay.

It will all become guiltless and healthier.


From the Idea to the Reality

Compersion may seem like a great idea -- but understanding the reality of it eludes many people. (This is how I now feel about monogamy.) Compersion is intellectual at first; ultimately it becomes emotional. It requires bravery because it involves letting go. It’s not possible to partially experience compersion -- you need to go all the way into it in order to actually feel it.

Compersion is brave for many reasons. It involves complete surrender of instinctual responses. It relinquishes possessiveness and control, trusting solely in love to preserve and support the relationship. It may involve sexual interaction with others of the same sex. If you're a man and you want to experience compersion, you have to get used to the fact that there may be another man in the room. The same could be said in reverse for women.

Compersion is also brave because one of the precursors of exploring compersion is consciously honoring the loyalty and friendship underneath the love-affair level of a relationship. It is gaining an honest understanding of why someone has you in his or her life at all. Unfortunately, that quality is very often lacking in modern relationships. You may not feel your relationship is strong enough to withstand the truth. But if this is true, then you may need to reconsider where you are and whom you are with.

As for how to learn compersion, in my relationship we started by sharing masturbation and fantasy with each other. This may seem like a baby step compared to having other people involved, but most of the deeper growth work can be, and SHOULD, be done one-on-one starting long before the inclusion of others. You do it by being extremely honest and then directing that honesty to one another, while witnessing one another masturbate or masturbating together.

After a while, when you’re both ready, then you can bring in other people. If there already is someone else, most of these ideas still apply. Indeed, sharing fantasy and masturbating should continue constantly, even as your partner continues to see another or others. It promotes communication and uses the external relationship to strengthen the marriage.

Compersion starts with telling the truth to your partner about all things erotic. This may be difficult at first, but it gets easier as you practice and build confidence. In this process, you may notice that one person or the other is more open to the idea of their partner's extracurricular fantasies, history or activities. Work in that direction first; at first it’s important to take the path of least resistance. Let the partner who is more comfortable sharing do the majority of the work and the talking.

You need to begin with an agreement of total amnesty. Whatever comes up in these exercises is allowed. Whatever comes out will not be held against the other. Neither must abuse their partner's honesty. You agree to support, discuss and share whatever your partner may feel. But mostly you grant yourself and one another the freedom to feel it and express it honestly. This is a lot of the process; as you will discover, much of compersion involves letting go of your own guilt about pleasure. Total honesty creates another level of personal freedom.

Each partner should feel free and be willing to share what they want, what they think about, and what they may have done -- including the details. Each should be equally free to question and answer questions, embellish as they wish, and indulge in the pleasure of the exercise every bit as much as the fantasies themselves. Note this is guilt free pleasure. Much of compersion involves letting go of monogamous guilt.

If one partner describes a fantasy of having sex with an entire wrestling team, they should feel free (and eventually eager) to share that. The other partner should have an equally enjoyable time hearing about it and giving their partner a way to express themselves.

Each is likely to get aroused. However, rather than having sex it is best to masturbate to each other’s fantasies. I highly suggest that you don't have sex. Rather, the idea is to keep some sense of separation, aware of the independence of your different fantasies and experiences, while appreciating each other as separate people.

If one partner reacts with any level of discomfort or gets jealous hearing what the other partner wants, this is the time to address and discuss such feelings. Go slowly, go gently, and feel for the opening. Each should know that it's safe to share every feeling.

When dealing with jealousy or emotional resistance in any form, let the fear have a voice. Let the fear speak up, and don't moralize it out of existence -- it will be more cooperative if it knows you're listening. Be aware that it is fear. This is an opportunity for the other partner to be reassuring. If someone goes into a jealous panic, you are getting a look at the real dynamics that underlie your relationship. Make sure you see them for what they are and deal with them before moving forward.

After a while, and with some practice, you may find that the energy can flow in both directions. But don't push each other too fast. Keep taking the path of least resistance. Notice your own inner resistance. If your spouse wants to have sex and this threatens you, notice the feeling of the jealousy, give it a voice, and question whether you really need to feel that way. Then go a shade deeper. Note, this is about going deeper; it won't work if you or your partner loves being superficial. Go deep within yourself and your relationship.

Pay close attention to what you go through. If, for example, you feel inadequate or excluded when your partner is describing a desire that does not involve you, notice that. Share it. Do NOT ignore it or hide it. DO NOT keep quiet about the truth in order to avoid it, and DO NOT refrain from sharing the truth to protect an ego. Egos must be set aside in order for the relationship to thrive.

In summary, I am proposing that partners get off to one another's fantasies and desires. I suggest that you be very, very open about this -- and that you spend a lot of time masturbating together. Not some time, but a LOT of time -- like half of all the sex you have, or more.

Compersion is an emotional skill set, and the way you begin to learn it is to expand your idea of masturbation to a joint effort, including every level -- fantasy, desire, the past, all of it. This has more than a mental effect; I believe the real effect is neurological. Compersion is a space you hold open in your heart and mind, and the easiest way to do that is by psychically and emotionally embracing your partner's self-given pleasure. Purge the need to control them, and embrace the pleasure of setting them free.

Compersion can lead to more than you thought sex could ever be. Admitting your whole erotic truth in the presence of your partner is extremely liberating; and it's a very big step for most. It's easier to give all than you may think. Once the truth is out, and once both partners feel safe being who they really are, a new depth of love will take over. It will make your sex better, and help you love your partner more. Most of all you actually get to be yourself, and let your partner be who they are. This is the true reward.

Work to maintain your compersion-based relationship. With the help of email, you can keep the energy of these discussions going around the clock, taking them any number of places. After a while, you might start to wonder how you could have ever been jealous in the first place. In time you will find that anything that turns your partner on will turn you on. Once you get to this space, then you can try anything and everything together.

Having other partners is tricky for many reasons, but if you reach this depth of communication, you have several key skills that make it possible -- the first one being honest about how you feel. The big step is living with your partner's sexual truths -- not the physical sex. Imagine them having sex. After all, this is what we do anyway when we read or look at erotica -- we are getting pleasure from the pleasure of others.

Declare your bed a free zone for erotic honesty. Weave a partnership of honesty around what you both need and build upon it.

Very few people can go through life satisfied with one sexual relationship at a time. Trying to do so conflicts with our natural instincts, and leads to sexual tensions. We can ease that sexual tension in a marriage by appreciating one another as independent, erotic beings. We need to recognize that everyone has an erotic realty that likely includes thoughts of others, or even a need for others, outside of the relationship. We should strive to embrace and even love that reality until we cannot help but enjoy it.

Compersion is about appreciating, recognizing, feeling, witnessing and loving -- all from a slight distance. It is also about respecting everyone's autonomy of feeling and their independence of expression if they choose to explore those feelings. It removes the pain of isolation and leads to deeply nourishing emotional and erotic experiences.

Our interpretation of the HW/Cuck lifestyle

Our interpretation of a HotWife is a married woman who has sex with men other than her husband, with her husband encouraging his wife's extramarital activities.

The husband in a HotWife relationship is called a cuckold. But today the cuckold term sometimes implies that there is a level of humiliation (intended to be negative) directed at the husband, via either the wife, her sexual partner, or both. The humiliation often focuses on the husband’s lack of sexual prowess, smaller cock size, or his inability to control his wife's extramarital sex and/or her choice of sexual partners. We don’t participate in that part of the lifestyle and don’t get any pleasure from those activities. We are equals in every part of our marriage, including the bedroom.

We both love my HotWife adventures, and we have since beginning them years ago (we enjoyed them even before we knew there was a name for it!).

In addition to several long term 'boyfriend' relationships I’ve had over the years, we also enjoy HotWife adventures in other varieties, like HotWife dating, MFM, nightclub or bar excursions for role playing and sometimes pick-ups, outings with like minded couples, visiting swing club visits on 'single guy allowed' nights, even nude weekends at adults only, swinger friendly nudist resorts (not the AANR variety).

We found that what we enjoy most is sharing of my adventures afterwards, together, later, when we are alone...days and even weeks or months later. Believe me, that's not to understate the enjoyment of the adventure as it’s happening, in every erotic detail, both physically and emotionally, for each of us (and the guy I’m with, too!).

But later when my husband and I are together, snuggling, petting, discussing, and reliving the adventure through our own views, memories and emotions, the complete openness, the honesty, the sharing, and the loving is almost overwhelming.

The sex on the side is wonderful, but the sharing afterward is the cherry on top. I enjoy laying in my husbands arms, teasing him with my story of the night as well as my dripping pussy, while he holds me tightly and kisses me and tells me how much he loves me. At times like that I am in touch all at once with the wife, slut, lover and woman within me. I wouldn't trade those times for anything.

He needs to know you sin

If you haven’t figured it out yet, cuckold husbands are different. His sexual response is triggered by your being with other men. You're married. Married women are monogamous.

You enjoy infidelity. You're a sinner.

He loves that you're a sinner. It drives him wild. The more he is exposed to the idea of your infidelity, the more inflamed his passions become. The good thing is that you have all of the control in this situation. You control every aspect of your infidelity.

You can keep your husband focused just on you by exercising the right amount of teasing and sex... sex with him and sex with others. You’re in control. You hold the switch to his emotions in your hand. If you’re smart you will wield it to get what you want, while giving him what he wants at the same time.

Remember this:

Men think about sex ALL THE TIME.

Cuckold husbands think about you having sex with other men ALL THE TIME.

Commit that to memory and you're halfway to a blissful, sex-filled lifestyle that you and your husband will both enjoy.

Here’s the real beauty of the secret: You don’t have to be with other men constantly to keep him pleased. He WANTS you to see other men constantly. He even thinks that he NEEDS you to see other men constantly. But what he really needs is to have a wife who WILL have sex with other men. He wants to know that you think about infidelity. He wants to know that his darling wife is really a lustful sinner at heart.

He can be just as happy and satisfied if you remind him of past experiences with other men and relive the details, and tease him about someone you want to be with. He doesn’t need you to be with others as much as he needs to know that you were with others, will be with others and WANT to be with others.

Use that knowledge to tease him and keep him happy between seeing different guys, or between dates. Let your husband know that you often think of sex with others. Taunt him with your thoughts and tease him with your plans.

Doing so will keep him excited and focused on you and you alone. You can turn the heat up or down, as you choose. When you’re ready to go out, you can turn up the heat and have him practically begging you to go out and get laid.

The switch is right there in your hand. Are you using it?

Are you being the sinner he needs you to be?

Grow up and cut the strings

I get mail from other women asking for advice. Many of them say that they feel the same way I do, but can’t bring themselves to “do it”.

Some can’t talk to their husband about their desires. Ladies, if you can’t talk openly and honestly with your husband then you have bigger problems to solve before you can think about trying this lifestyle. Work on your relationship. Get close. Become a true couple. Then write me back.

Others have talked about it with their husband but can't actually bring themselves to do it. Many of the husbands were the ones who brought up this lifestyle. That’s common because I think it usually is the husband who wants it and brings it up to us (hopefully they don’t get their head bit off for being honest about their feelings).

If you have talked about it with your husband and you both want to try it, then go for it. You’re an adult. Grow up. Don’t make more out of it than it is. It’s just sex. It’s the same thing you did when you were in college or dating. You meet people, find the right one and get laid. Don’t overcomplicate it.

I’ve heard all the excuses:

Too scared – My advice, just do it. The first time it feels strange but after you relax and enjoy yourself and have orgasms and see your husband’s reaction you will find that it really is fun. It gets easy after that.

Worried what your husband will think afterward – Trust me, he’ll adore you. He will fawn all over you and treat you like a queen. It’s easy to get spoiled!

Worried about what they will think of themselves – Not what you think. You won’t feel like a dirty whore. You’ll feel sexy, empowered, desired and elated. Your husband will reinforce all of that and more. Do it. You’ll see what I mean.

Worried someone will find out – My advice, don’t fuck anyone you know from work, or anyone in your circle of friends. Find someone you don’t cross paths with often or regularly, someone you don’t have friends in common with. Be discreet. Don’t go to restaurants, bars or hotels near where you live, or in your town if you live in a small town. Meet at each others home whenever possible. When in public with someone else don't do PDA’s. Chance encounters are always possible but you can do a lot to keep the chances low. Even if someone does see you with someone else, you can always explain it as a business function, family friend, etc.

Worried about “Fatal attractions” – It’s possible, but since you’re married it’s much less likely. The other guy knows you're married so he’s not likely to become a problem. If he does, you have a husband. Use him.

Worried about STD’s, pregnancy, etc. – Use your best judgment. If you’re going to be active in the lifestyle you may want to get your tubes tied. If that’s not an option you need to use contraceptive practices that suit you. Condoms, the pill, withdrawal, it all lowers the chances. Some women prefer married men, as they are usually safer. That is a personal decision.

Can’t find the right person – This is often a delaying tactic or a fa├žade for another concern. It’s just sex. Many women look for sex partners using their old “dating checklist”. This is a mistake. You’re not looking for a future with someone. It doesn’t matter if he has a good job or a nice car. You’re not looking for a provider. You already have that in your husband. You’re looking for someone to fuck. So find someone who turns you on and forget about the rest of the checklist. You need someone who is attractive, interested in you and available. The rest doesn’t matter. You’re not lowering your standards, you’re changing them for a new goal.

How do you start? My advice is one of two ways; First, try the internet. There are hundreds of websites out there for meeting new people. Some are designed for the adult lifestyles, helping people just like Hotwives and single guys meet each other. Try it. It’s easy.

If that isn’t for you (and it’s not for everyone) then get yourself out there. Go to parties, bars, clubs. Dress sexy and go out to places where men are. Smile, have a drink, loosen up and be available. You will have better success meeting men if you’re alone, but you can do it with a friend or even your husband if you’re too nervous. Your husband can stay in the background, or he can actively help introduce you to other guys. It’s whatever makes you most comfortable (or the least uncomfortable).

Once you meet that first possible guy, don’t be timid. My advice is to get that “first time” out of the way. You will be much more confident once you’ve done it. Sure, you may be nervous. It may not be all you imagined because you will be unsure. But it’s important to go through with it that first time. Afterward you will feel different and the second time will be easier.

Everyone is nervous the first time they do something new. This is no different. But it’s only sex. It’s fun and natural and it feels good and it’s easy to “do”. The tough part is just deciding to do it!

So if you and your husband really want to try the lifestyle then you should put those fears aside and do it. I did. Thousands of other women did it too.

What are you waiting for?

Thursday

Taking a backseat

I got fucked in the backseat again and I loved it.

Fucking in the backseat can be cramped and awkward and even funny. But to me it's sexy as hell!

There is something about it that makes me so hot. I feel like I'm back in high school, exploring my newfound sexuality with someone else. It's novel and different and, for me, often the result of spontaneity. I love being spontaneous!

I love the whole experience of getting into a car with someone. I even love walking across the parking lot together, heading for the car. Just that can be thrilling and give me tingles all the way down to my toes.

It's all so hot. Getting in the car together, crawling into the backseat, closing and locking the doors, fumbling with your clothes and his clothes. Wiggling, squeezing, getting into position. Groping, sucking, fingering. Getting into position, penetration, humping, lunging, cumming.

The fucking is always intense, and usually brief. The windows fog up. The car rocks. Our moans may escape, giving rise to the chance that someone might hear us and investigate. Does the thought of getting caught make it more exciting? Maybe. What would we do if we looked up to see someone peering in? I don't know. But the thought that it could happen makes me bite my lip, forcing me to moan quieter which makes me cum harder.

It lasted twenty minutes. I peeled off my jeans and opened my blouse. He dropped his pants. I laid back on the seat and spread my legs. He braced his feet, drove it in and pounded me in near silence, grunting and breathing in my ear as he worked toward his end. I came several times before he lunged, grunted and poured himself into me.

When he was done, I was too. It was perfect. Perfectly hot, sweaty, and satisfying. We dressed, kissed and made plans to to see each other again before getting out. It will probably be at his house or mine. But if he wanted to do it in the car again I'd be up for that. I loved it. I want to keep doing that.



Wives & lovers & timing

Men complain that we’re confusing.

Maybe they’re right. Sometimes I am perplexed myself by my own feelings and reactions. If I don’t always understand my own feelings I guess I can’t blame men for not understanding them either.

Someone sent me a web page about studies on women and the way our psyche changes week to week because of our monthly cycle. Some of the things in that study made sense of something that I hadn’t understood before.

The studies show that married women are supposed to be more attracted to other men before and during our ovulation. The more surprising thing was that we also can become LESS attracted to our own husbands during that same time.

I’ve felt that way before, but I didn’t know why. I do know I get horniest during that time. Most of us ladies do. I find myself thinking about other men more around that time. It makes sense, since our body wants us to fuck when we’re most fertile.

Okay. But I also noticed that I can be less tolerant of my husband then too. It’s not like I don’t love him. But I don’t feel the need to be as close to him then, and I'm less likely to put up with anything he does that I don’t like, and I can be less patient with him.

Those studies also show that we need two kinds of men in our lives, providers and sperm donors! Providers (husbands) give us love, security and a good nest to raise our children. Sperm donors are the men who can give us the strongest, healthiest babies. These aren’t always the same man. Your husband may be loving and supportive like mine, but your body wants you to get jumped by that hot, good-looking hunk who looks great in Levis! So we will be more attracted to that type of man when we’re ovulating. That attraction we feel for another man is our body's way of telling us that he's a good sperm donor.

I love my husband, but sometime I’d rather fuck my mechanic? It sounds crazy. The study says that when I’m the most fertile the stud that lives across the street looks the hottest, and at the same time my husband can't help but get on my nerves. Therefore it becomes more likely that I will fuck the stud and not fuck my husband. Strange. But I guess it makes sense.

Now I know why I feel like I do. It explains a lot. I can go with it. I will have to tell my husband that I need to date more at that part of the month. J

It’s not nice to fight mother nature right?



Monday

Will the REAL owner of the 1974 10.5" penis please call me


What can I say? I love a big dick.
Sometimes I obsess about them.

I've posted about it before. When I was young, single and stupid I bought into the myth that size doesn't matter. I say it's a myth because nobody I know believes it, except for the men who need us to believe it.

To be sure, size is definitely in the eye (or hand or mouth or body cavity) of the beholder. Like I said before, I have had some guys that I think were probably 8 inches and maybe one guy who might have been 9 inches. I don't know for sure because I don't pull out a ruler when I'm wrapped around a nice hard cock.

My husband is about average, perhaps a little over, and he pleases me like no other. But I am a sucker (literally) for a big dick and size does matter to me when I look for other men.

The other day I thought I had found nirvana and rapture in the same place (or rather the same guy). It was a new profile on AFF. The profile described a guy who was single, 36, and looking for MILFS. The profile showed that he lived an hour away. But the thing that caught my eye was the three pictures of one of the most enormous, tantalizing, beautiful cocks I had ever seen online.

It was described as being 10.5 inches and 6 inches around. Looking at the pictures, the description seemed very fitting. That cock was incredibly tantalizing. It was just the right size to be in every dream I've ever had of a big cock. It was perfectly shaped with a large, mushroom head and the perfect amount of veins and heavy, swollen balls hanging below that were sure to give me many loads of hot cum!

I couldn't write him quickly enough, and I made sure to include some pics of me in my first note. His response was immediate. He was interested, and he sent back two pictures of himself fully dressed. He was top shelf! OMG! I was beside myself at the thought of meeting this guy. My husband said I was walking on air as I began to email him. We began to trade emails and I thought we were moving toward our first date.

Then things went awry. He wanted nothing but detailed emails from me of everything I would like to do with him and his cock. He offered nothing in return, other than encouragement for more detailed emails. I quickly, but sadly, realized I had been had by yet another online flake. Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

I was so disappointed. I wanted that cock like none before. I guess some might think me petty for wanting something so trivial as a set of male genitals. But ladies, let me tell you, that was one cock to die for! Even still I can look at those pictures and masturbate.

So if the REAL owner of the 1974 model 10.5X6 gorgeous penis would please contact me, I'll be happy to provide you with a place to park that Godly gift free of charge for as long as you wish, and as often as you wish. I'll even throw in free spit and polish shines and would probably be willing to consider offering all three available garages.

Call me. Seriously dammit. Call me!!!!






Calgon, take me the fuck away!


You know how some days are so shitty you wish you never got out of bed? I've just had one of those days. It's after midnight. I'm exhausted but I wanted to post while I'm still in this shitty mood. Sometimes it's good to get your rogue thoughts out before they slip back to normal, don't you agree?

Today the kids seemed determined to be shitty. Work was shitty. My in-laws were shitty. Even my husband was shitty.

I love my husband. I truly do. He is what love is to me and I could never be without him. I love him for all he is and all he allows me to be.

I love the way he smells and the way he holds me and the way he is always there. I love the freedom and support he gives me.

But today I could kill him. Do you have days when nothing your husband says or does is even close to fucking right? Do you have days when you want to look him in the eye, smile sarcastically and bounce a fry pan up off his fucking skull? Today was one of those days.

But maybe it's me. It could just be an baditude day. Or maybe I just need to get laid. Not make-love-laid. REALLY fucking laid. You know the kind, where all you can think about is sex before, during and afterward. That's probably what I need.

It's been almost two months since I've seen anyone else. I've been busy. Too busy for good sex, even at home. But it's not sex at home that I'm thinking of now. I need to get well fucked. Soon. I think I need a new guy too. Someone fresh and exciting. A new body on mine. A new mouth. A new cock.

I need Mr. Calgon. Please take me away! If I knew where he was I swear to God I would go to him right this second, and leave my husband asleep in the bedroom. I need to give myself to someone and let him use the shit out of me. I want to raise my hips and offer my sex and let him take it all until he's done and I'm ruined.

I don't want a guy to make love to me. I want a guy to tell me how to dress. Then I want him to rip it off when I get there. I want him to tell me what to do. Then I want to amaze him with my willingness.

I want him to take me and use me like a $50 whore. Forget the foreplay. I want him to pull his cock out and push it between my lips until I choke on it. Spank me. Push me down and pull my knees apart. Shove his fingers into me. Squeeze my tits and pinch my nipples and bite my neck. Then mount me and pound his stiff cock into my pussy and make me take it all.

I want him crush me with his weight and pound me into submission. I want every thrust of his hips to savagely knock the breath from my lungs while I cry and moan and suffer through his onslaught.

I want him to take my ass. I don't want him to ask. I want him to grab his cock and push the tip against my ass and force it in, even if I try to wiggle away. I want him to lean into me and push deeper until every inch is inside. I want him to shove my face into the mattress to silence my cries, and pound my ass until his thrusts become waves of pleasure.

I want him to pull out of my used ass and shove it back into my opened pussy again and plow me roughly toward our finish. I want to feel the hard tip of that cock slamming against my cervix, rudely announcing its intentions. I want to hear him grunting as he jackhammers into me. Then I want to feel that glorious new cock swell and gush and flood me with the heat of his passion. I want to cum instinctively underneath him, and feel my head spinning dizzily while I'm being replenished with his hot, warm spurts.

I want to lay beneath him, panting and sweating. If he wants me again I will completely yield to his wishes. Afterward I want to lay in his arms and thank him. I want to thank him for fucking me and defiling me and using me like that whore that I needed to be for him. I want to thank him for stretching me and cumming in me and for letting me give him my entire being.

Then I want to stumble home. I want to remember and relive every minute before I pass out. I want to feel worn out and sore and stretched and leaking cum during the night while I sleep. I want to pass out from the exertion, reaching down to touch my tender lips in the final moments before I slip away.

I want to wake up the next morning and let the first thought be of him, fucking me. I want to cherish that memory of being treated like a whore. I want to touch my pussy to make sure it wasn't just a wonderful dream. and feel a tenderness remaining between my legs. I want that morning after adrenaline jolt I sometimes get from contemplating the remote chance that he got me pregnant. I may even allow myself a moment to ponder the fleeting, twisted, paradoxical thrill of conception for a few brief seconds before the thought vaporizes on the cusp of a new day in the real world.

I want every bit of that right now. I fucking need it. It's been too fucking long.