Most of my blogging has been about Hotwifing - how and why it's for me.
But it's also important to learn from your mistakes. I've made mistakes. I wanted to blog about that today.
Being a Hotwife gives us a lot of power in our marriage. If you've been doing this like I have then you know how different it is from regular marriages. You have more control.
Having more control means knowing what to do with it. You cannot sit around and hope for the best, or rely on your husband to steer your sex life as you once did. Your sex life is now based on you seeing other men. That means you have to act. You're in charge.
There are a lot of benefits and it pays to be a Hotwife. But it's up to you. You must take action.
On another blog (Weekday temptress. Weekend whore) I talked about knowing how to tease your husband into a frenzy and then give him the periodic release he needs. That's the art of being a Hotwife.
Fucking other men is easy. Keeping your husband satisfied is more of a balancing act. It takes effort and you have to learn your husband to find that balance.
If you fuck other men 365 days a year and ignore your husband, he will become frustrated and you will lose your control.
If you fuck your husband 365 days a year and don't see other men, he will become frustrated and you will lose your control.
In both cases he will be unfulfilled and become resentful. He will regret being in the lifestyle together and he will resist your efforts to control him or anything else in your marriage. His frustration will affect your relationship.
Every husband is different. One husband may be happy if you fuck someone else once or twice a year. Another husband may want you to go out every week. You have to find the balance that's right for you two. It may include compromise. For us, there is no firm number of times. When I meet someone new it can be very frequent until the newness subsides, but usually I try to stay active and see someone at least once or twice a month. If I go months without seeing someone he can become agitated and I can sense it.
Remember that the first condition of being a Hotwife is that you see other men. There is nothing so frustrating as a wife who tells her husband she will do what he needs, then not follow through.
If you agree to see other men, your husband will have expectations of how often that will happen. It's important that you talk about it and agree - how many, how often, etc. to prevent frustrations. If you see someone once a year and your husband expected you to go out once a month then he will become frustrated. It will affect your relationship.
So find that balance, or you risk losing your control. It takes communication and honesty from you both. But once you learn your husband you can read him. You will know how far to tease, how often he expects you to see others, and how often he needs release.
Remember, the more you see others the more teasing he can take, and the more release he will need. Learn to find the balance between tease and release, and combine that with seeing someone however often it takes to keep you both satisfied and keep the Hotwife life alive.
The happier he is, the more control you have.
The more control you have, the better for you!
The control is yours. Use it or lose it!
