Like most marriages, swinger marriages share power between the spouses. They decide together when they will swing and who they will see and what their rules are.
A Hotwife and cuckold marriage is different. The wife has most of the power.
Why? Because she's the one having sex!
She decides who. She decides when and where and how often and how long and how many times and, and, and....
Get it? Do you see the difference? The wife is in charge. The Hotwife life comes with benefits but that also means having to make decisions and be in charge. So ladies, step up to to the front office. You're in charge now. What are you going to do about it?
You're not just in charge of YOUR sex life but you're also in charge of your HUSBAND'S sex life. You're in charge of YOUR sex life TOGETHER, as a couple. This is very different than what you're used to. Your marriage is now different. The balance of power is different. You have most of the power. But with power comes responsibility.
Remember when your husband would hit you up for sex and you brushed it off and he would pout around the house and you would finally give in? That's no longer your sex life.
Now your sex life is about someone else.
Now your sex life is all about you getting off with someone else.
Now your husband gets off on you getting off with someone else.
This is the part most of us don't get. Read this and repeat it to yourself. If your husband is a cuckold and you want him to remain satisfied then start thinking differently. When you're horny learn to first LOOK ELSEWHERE FIRST for your sexual satisfaction. Start thinking and looking toward other men for sex.
Will you always be able to find other men? No. Will they always be available? No.
But that's not the point. The point is that seeing other men is your preference. It's not that you DO meet other men all the time, but that you prefer to, even when you can't. The impression that you WANT other men is an important aspect of the Hotwife and cuckold life. Even when you aren't seeing others it's important to keep alive the fact that you wish you were seeing other men.
Does this mean you won't have sex with your husband? Of course not! You'll still have plenty of sex with your husband. That doesn't stop. But you have to remember (ALWAYS!) that the PRIMARY FOCUS is that you prefer to get your satisfaction elsewhere. That is what your husband wants more than anything. That's what arouses him.
But it's important that YOU be in charge, no matter what. YOU make the decisions. You set the schedule. You see who you want, when you want. Your husband doesn't make those decisions. You do! When you get horny, you look elsewhere and you set it up. You aren't afraid to get what you need, and you prefer to get it with someone else!
Does that scare you? Are you afraid your husband won't agree? Are you worried he'll be mad? Let me tell you another secret: HE WILL LOVE IT! It's what he wants from you, even if he doesn't realize it. A sexually confident wife who isn't afraid to pursue her sexual satisfaction on her own with another man is a wet dream to a cuckold husband.
Don't believe me? Try this: (Assuming your husband is leaning toward being a cuckold) - Set up a date with someone. Anyone you want. It can be a friend or a purely platonic date. They don't even have to know it's a "date". It can just be dinner. You don't have to have sex. Just make the "date" without checking with your husband.
The day before, tell your husband about it. Don't ask him if it's okay. Just tell him you have a date tomorrow night, at whatever time it is, with whomever it is. Don't give him any details. Just let him know that you're going out with someone. Matter of fact. No argument. No debate. You're in charge. If he resists or questions you, shut him down. Tell him that you've been thinking about this, he introduced the idea to begin with and so you're going to try it. Then go mum. No more talk.
He will go nuts (even if you can't tell). For the next two days all he can think about, 24/7 is you going on a date. He'll go to sleep that night thinking of it and get up the next morning thinking about it. The day you go out he will be beside himself thinking about it. He will think about nothing else, all day.
It's not just the date. It's the fact that you set up the date without asking him. You took charge. You set up a meeting that could turn sexual (in his mind) without his permission. You're in control. He's not. That's different. It's strange and scary but exciting for him (and you too).
The first date is just the start. In time you will be making all your plans. He won't. In fact he'll consider himself lucky just to be aware of them at all. But that's up to you. Remember, you're in charge now!
So what are you waiting for? Make that date!